  09/02/10
Updated:
Malcolm Not in the
middle returns with the WWE
NXT RANT! (09/01/10) This week, THE INTERNET
PREVAILS and poor Joe Hennig can't McGillicut a promo to save his
life. Click HERE to read the
report! Updated:
Cameron Burge returns with the RAW RANT! (08/31/10) This week, RAW celebrates its 900th Anniversary (King Arthur pulled the sword then headed back to catch Taker vs. Demento), and in honor of such a magnanimous occasion, WWE *still* couldn't get one legend off their ass to actually show up. Click HERE to read the full report! Updated:
(08/30/10) THE RECENTLY "DOWNSIZED"
JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON!
THIS WEEK'S UNEMPLOYED FEATURE: UFC 118! STARRING AN UNINTELLIGIBLE BOXER
GETTING TOOLED BY A SENIOR CITIZEN, A RICH ASS HAWAIIAN DUDE GETTING
DRUBBED BY A FEATHERWEIGHT AND THE DEBUT OF K-MART BRANDED FIGHT GEAR!
CLICK HERE TO READ
MORE! Updated:
Andariel Halo returns with the TNA IMPACT REPORT! (08/29/10) This week, SERG-A-MANIA IS RUNNING MILD. Click HERE to read the full report! Updated:
(08/28/10) This week, SmackDown continues to scare off viewers with Cody Rhodes shaving his legs, a five-minute Hornswoggle skit, and a non-match main event! See "Great" Scott's patience tried...right HERE! Updated:
(08/27/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: HHHEADS WILL ROLL. Apparently, HHH and Stephanie welcomed daughter # 3 into the world yesterday - and yes, it inspired this obvious joke. (sue me.). Click HERE to view! Updated:
Esben Evans returns with MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS! (08/22/10) A nostalgic look at WCW's side of the Monday Night War! This week's edition: May 19, 1996!: SLAMBOREE '96; featuring BATTLE BOWL - emphasis on the "BOWL". Watch DDP push out and flush 7 turds in one sitting! Click HERE to read the full report! Updated:
(08/18/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: UNDERTAKER PULLED FROM VEGETATIVE STATE: THE *EXCLUSIVE* PHOTO~! Click HERE to view! Updated:
TWF Is looking for a *new* PPV
Recapper - starting with last night's SUMMER SLAM. Entries can be sent
HERE and the best
one will be published. Humor, gimmicks, pictures, etc. are not only
encouraged, they're allowed. [/Batista.]
Updated:
"Great" Scott returns with the WWE SUPERSTARS RANT! (08/13/10) This week, a DOUBLE DOSE of Superstars. More Primo Colon than you can shake a stick at! Or a remote. Whilst pressing the channel up button. Click HERE to read! Updated:
(08/11/10) DEADFACE WALKING: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY!: ALBERTO DEL RIO: THE LEAST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD. Click HERE to view~! Updated:
(08/09/10) JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH
AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK' S EDITION:
UFC 117! FEATURING A BRAZILIAN GYPSY WAILING ON
A DUDE THAT LOOKS LIKE TUGBOAT, A SEVEN FOOT TALL HOT DOG HUMBLING AN
INKED UP PEAR, AND WHAT MAY VERY WELL BE THE GREATEST UFC TITLE FIGHT OF
ALL TIME! CLICK HERE TO READ
MORE! Updated:
With TNA's ECW err EV2.0 reunion making a quick grab for your wallet in less than 24 hours, join Derek Burgan with a special RETRO GIMMICK TABLE: EXTREME JOB PLACEMENT PROGRAM! (08/08/10) Click HERE to read! Updated:
RETRO- RECAPITATION: ECW ONE
NIGHT STAND 2005! (08/07/10) With TNA's ECW
err EV2.0 reunion making a quick grab for your wallet in just a
few days, join Sean Carless as he looked at the night that started it
all: ECW ONE NIGHT STAND! And much like a real one night stand, ECW
delivered a night of no strings attached wanton pleasure! Only, unlike a
woman, it only cost us 35 dollars to get off! If only all one night
stand's were this fulfilling. And didn't lead to
AIDS. Click HERE to read
Sean's Recapitation! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK AUGUST 2006! (08/01/10) *Jam-Packed Edition*, Featured Sean Carless' Fall TV Preview 2006, Completely Random News: With WWEnzymes~!, Diva's Search Fallout, Patterson's Heart Go Banana, Hulk Hogan Jobs To A Counch, Vince Fights Science, And More! Plus, Undertaker Taken Under The Wing Of Mr. Miyagi, An *Exclusive* Behind The Scenes Look at John Cena's "The Marine", And Things I Learned From Watching WWE! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read this insane blast from the past! Updated:
(07/26/10) James Swift returns with
an all new ROCKTAGON! This
edition: TEN MOST OFFENSIVE MOMENTS IN WWE
HISTORY! Click HERE
to read
more! Updated:
Catherine Perez presents the (better late than never) WWE MONEY IN THE BANK PPV RANT! (07/24/10) It's Money in the Bank~! The irony being you now have significantly less in said bank after paying 50 dollars to watch 16 dudes trying to snare a giant children's lunch-box! Plus, it's the guy powered by the yellow sun of the earth vs. the guy who hasn't seen it in 30 years. Something's got to give. A little. Maybe. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the full report~!  Hey kids! Did you know you can now
follow Sean Carless on Twitter?! Did
you care? Regardless, click HERE to follow him
as your Sherpa of stupidity! Updated:
VIDEO SATIRE: 'TIL DEATH DO US PART! (07/11/10) Undertaker & Michelle McCool were recently wed in real-life. The following "candid photos" were taken by TWF correspondent, Brian_N_DC during the subsequent honeymoon that week... Click HERE to view! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK JULY 2005! In This Lazy Summer Edition, Sean Carless Looked At Matt Hardy: The Excellence Of Edgucution, Between A Brock and A Hard Place, Mr. Ass Is An Asshole, Vince McMahon In The White House, And Getting To Know The Potential Divas! All This, Plus Much More! Or Less! Whatever! Click HERE To Read! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF
HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK JULY 2004! Featuring 1/1000 of
Bret Hart Seeking Revenge on Vince McMahon, Paul Bearer Is Trapped In a
Glass Case Of Emotion, Mordecai Raptured To The Unemployment Line,
O'Hare's Telling The Police Something They Don't Already Know, Ric Flair
Pisses Off Foley AND Bret Hart, Then Travels The Known Universe!
Wrestling's Most Celebrated Mustaches And Mullets! And Joanie Laurer
Debunks Myths of Her Gender By Hosting a Transsexual Pageant?! You Go,
Umm, Questionable Girl! All This, Plus So Much More! Click HERE To
Read! Updated:
(06/22/10) DEADFACE WALKING: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY!: JOHN CENA AND DARREN YOUNG IN "SOULMAN"~! Click HERE to view~! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: JUNE 2004: SATIRE: CHRONICLES OF WARRIOR: OPERATION WARRIOR! (06/21/10) The Amazing True ULTIMATE~! story of the fall of Saddam. In a time of need, the U.S. government knew there was only one man who could be counted on to turn the tide of the Gulf War. That man was Ultimate Warrior. And he did it all wearing only Speedoes. WARRIAH! Click HERE to read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
(06/16/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: DRAGONE: BRYAN DANIELSON VS. MATTEL! With (unsubstantiated) rumors swirling that Mattel may have played a part in Danielson's firing, there's no better time to introduce a brand new toyline! Click HERE to view! Updated:
(06/12/10) Catherine Perez returns with a A DEADFACE WALKING NEWS BRIEF~! Click HERE to view~! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: JUNE 2005: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! (06/07/10) In This Jam-Packed Edition, Sean Carless Helped Matt Hardy Start Dating Again, Explored Heidenreich's Strange Transformation From Cole-Raping Poet To Pied Piper; How JBL Served Blue Meanie A Low-Carb Potato, Harlem Sewer Mall-Rats, Orton's Shit Doesn't Stink, Plus The TWF Debut Of "If They Mated!" All This, Plus Much More!. Click HERE to read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
(06/04/10) NEW TWF FEATURE: THE WWE
DEVELOPMENTAL ROOKIE NAME GENERATOR~! Are your
employers lazy and/or retarded and you need a terrible WWE-esque
moniker quick? Click HERE to utilize this free name
generator and you'll be carrying kegs to total apathy instead of
wrestling in no
time! Updated:
(05/26/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: GOODBYE HEATH SLATER: A.K.A HIS MOM, CHER, IS GONNA BE PISSED! Click HERE to view! Updated:
Jordan Huie presents the WWE OVER THE LIMIT PPV RANT! (05/27/10) It's Over The Limit! For this year anyway! On this night, John Cena puts the Animal down (Where are we gonna find a shoe box big enough to fit his body?), The Ring puts Randy Orton down, and Rey Mysterio rapes CM Punk's dignity! (why not? He's already wearing a mask. ). All this, plus shitty finishes! Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
TWF GUEST
COLUMN: (05/21/10) Version 1 of Wrestlecrap Forums
presents: WWE SAVED BY THE
BELL! Click HERE to
view! Updated:
(05/05/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: KEVIN NASH "GOODFELLAS" OIL PAINTING. Every once in a while I do something for no other reason than it's never been done. This is one of those times. Click HERE to view! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: MAY 2005: SATIRE: RAW IS STAR WARS! (05/02/10) After George Lucas seemingly had A LOT of time on his hands, (when he was not counting his money), Sean took a look at what WWE might have been like in 2005 if the show had been written by Mr. Star Wars himself! Click HERE to read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
Jordan Huie presents THE WWE EXTREME Updated:
(04/19/10) DEADFACE WALKING: COMPLETELY RANDOM PHOTOSHOP(S) OF THE DAY! Click HERE to view~! Updated:
RETRO- RECAPITATION: WWE
ONE NIGHT STAND 2007! (04/18/10) With this year's
"Extreme Rulz" making a quick grab for your wallet in a about a week, join
Sean Carless as he looked at ONE NIGHT STAND 2007! After two
memorable consecutive One Night Stands, WWE delivers the kind you blame
fully on alcohol and never ever admit to enjoying! On this night, John
Cena makes Great Khali his own personal Pun-jobber! Edge enters an Animal
cage and lives to tell the tale! Dominatrix Bobby Lashley enters into a
S&M relationship with Vince McMahon! (well, maybe just the S part) and
women wrestle in EXTREME pudding! What more could you want? ECW? No
soup for you. Click HERE to read
Sean's Recapitation! Updated:
(04/15/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: JIM CORNETTE IS DEXTER! Click HERE to view! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: APRIL 2005: WARRIOR 4 PRESIDENT! (04/05/10) In this edition, Sean Carless took a ridiculous look at a potential 2008 Presidential bid for the Ultimate Warrior! Just how would the Warrior-man handle the "tough" issues like immigration, the war on terror, and abortion?-- Press Slams? Probably. It always seemed to work on everything else. Click HERE to read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
DEADFACE WALKING! (04/02/10) Catherine Perez
(finally~!) returns with her hilarious (and fully illustrated)
look at all the various going-ons this week in the wacky world of Pro
Wrestling! Click HERE to read this return
edition! Updated:
(03/31/10) To commemorate TWF's 7th Anniversary, Catherine Perez returns with the DEADFACE WALKING: COMPLETELY RANDOM PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY! No context needed! Click HERE to view!
Updated:
Sean Carless (reluctantly) returns with WRESTLING WITH MANIA. OR HOW SEAN CARLESS STAVED OFF TOXIC ALCOHOL POISONING FOR FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS TO GIVE YOU THE WORST RECAP IN HISTORY. (03/29/10) That's right, YOUR WRESTLEMANIA 26 QUICK, DIRTY & COMPLETELY DISGUSTING! Click HERE to read the most un-detailed, lackluster Recapitation in history of a fantastic show that deserved so much better! Updated:
(03/17/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: MR. ANDERSON! No explanation needed (nor good enough.) Click HERE to view! Updated:
(03/10/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: MACHO POVICH. So, the rumor is out that Stephanie McMahon is pregnant with child # 3. But just who is the baby-daddy? Maury has our official results! Click HERE to view! Updated:
RETRO-
RECAPITATION: WRESTLEMANIA 2! (03/04/10) We're
now on the Road to Wrestlemania, but first, Sean Carless once
again takes an off-road piss break as he journeys back to look at
WRESTLEMANIA 2! A card so terrible, it had to forced on
three separate cities just to lessen the blow! (blowing?). All
this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK MARCH 2005! (03/01/10) Featuring: Completely Random News; The ULTIMATE Triple H Collection; Wrestling With Time; Matt Hardy FECES The Truth; Worst Wrestlemania Matches EVER; Original Wrestlemania Hi-Jinks; And WWE Films Presents! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
Alex Blinkoff makes his TWF
debut with the WWE NXT RANT!
(02/25/10) In this debut edition, Daniel Bryan battles
Chris Jericho and Michael Cole battles Clueless
Ineptitude. Click HERE to read the
report! Updated:
RETRO-
RECAPITATION: WRESTLEMANIA 1! (02/22/10) We're
now on the Road to Wrestlemania, but first, Sean Carless once
again takes an off-road piss break as he journeys back some 25 years to
where it all began: WRESTLEMANIA 1! It's 1985, and long before Vince had
visions of paying useless strippers 250 K for sitting in pies, or nearly
bankrupting the company with bush-league football, he had a dream:
WRESTLEMANIA! An event SO huge, it could only be carried on Hulk Hogan's
Barn Door Back, Bruther. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation! Updated:
Neil McGilloway returns with
the ECW ON SyFy RANT!
(02/17/10) This week, ECW goes out with a bang! Seriously. I
think I just heard a gunshot coming from Paul Heyman's house.
Click HERE to read the
report! Updated:
(02/11/10) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: "VAN" ARCHER. Tell me I'm wrong. Click HERE to view! Updated:
"Great" Scott presents THE WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2010 RANT! (02/05/10) It's time to decide who goes to Wrestlemania and who gets bumped by HHH anyway in four weeks thus destroying the credibility of the event! On this night, the ceiling ain't the only thing made of glass in the WWE as Edge returns to take it all! Plus Rey Mysterio looks to exploit another deadman en route to another World Title and the Celtic Warrior battles the, umm, Septic Warrior? Sounds about right. Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY. (02/03/10) Leno or Conan? Whatever. FINALLY. THERE'S A MOVEMENT FOR THE REST OF US. Click HERE to view! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: FEBRUARY 2005! (02/01/10) This Edition, Sean Looked at My Deep Dark Secret; Lex Luger Is Guilty...Of Being A Fucking Moron; Anvil In Trouble; Stone Cold = Dr. Evil? Me Getting Biblical; Vince Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On; Amy Weber Fucks Off; TNA Is Not OK; Motivation: TWF Style! And Buying Batista's Underwear... All This, Plus Much More! Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK JANUARY 2005! (01/25/10) This Edition, Sean Looked at WWE Divas In Playboy, Brock Lesnar's Return, More WWE ShopZone Buffoonery, And A Cameo By Canadian Bacon! Joanie Loves (To Kick The Shit Out Of ) X-Pacy! The Homicidal, Genoicidal, Suicidal Erik Watts, Or Maybe Just The Last Part, New Jack Stabs John Cena, And A Whole Lotta Wrestlers Doing Stupid Things. Plus Three New Additions To The Mullet Hall Of Fame! Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
Derek Burgan returns with the GIMMICK TABLE~! (01/23/10) This edition:
NEW WRESTLING MOVIES. Click
HERE to read the
report! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: DECEMBER 2006: SATIRE: DISCONTINUED WWE XMAS PRODUCTS!! (12/13/09) With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views this year) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.). Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK DECEMBER 2007! (12/07/09) OBSCENELY HUGE YEAR-END 2007 EDITION~!: Featuring: The Death Of Superman, The Death Of A Guy Who Never Existed! People We Wish Never Existed! The Rise And Fall And Fall And Fall And Fall of ECW! The Return Of Conan The Midcard Destroyer! The Plight Of Made In The ICU Lex Luger! Y2J saves Us From Everything But North Carolina Apathy! Vince McMahon Blows Up, Stitches Himself Back Together, Then Apparently Puts Wile E. Coyote In Charge Of Creative! All This, Plus Bonus Items For the Xmas Season, And Mick Foley Starring In: "I AM HARDCORE LEGEND". Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY (KIND OF): BACK-LEG FRONTKICK DECEMBER 2004! (11/29/09) YEAR-END 2004: In This Edition, I Looked Back At The Year That Was; Featuring Old Favorites, Quotable Quotes, Highlights And Lowlights...And Of Course The Breakout Star of 2004 (Firguratively And Literally!) Gene Snitsky! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's insane blast from the past! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents THE WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2009 RANT!(11/24/09) The event that destroyed Bret Hart's life returns! And this time the only people getting screwed are us come cable-bill! Tonight, six men will vie for the right to become world champion ONCE AGAIN! And probably again! And again several more times after that! THE TENTH TIME IS THE MOST MEANINGFUL. Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK NOVEMBER/ DECEMBER 2005! (11/16/09) 2005 Quasi-Year End Blowout Edition Or Something Like That!: Featured: Completely Random News: Not Really Year In Review! Plus, WWE Whore Zone, Vince Opens A Wendy's, And Chappelle's Show: WWE Style! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's blast from the past! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK NOVEMBER 2004! (11/09/09) Featured: Goldberg Had Heat With Hef, Huge Firings, WWF sues WWE,What Really Happened To Vince, The Return of BULLSHIT! Featuring Dave Gagnon & Harry Simon! TNA Invades WWE?, Carlito's "Conspiracy", Randy Savage Is Insane, The Week That Was, And More Snitsky Than You Can Shake A Coat-Hanger At! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's blast from the past!! Updated:
(11/02/09) LETTERS FROM MY MOM'S BASEMENT With Marx Rayner! A satirical critique of Pro-Wrestling through the eyes of a stereotypical jaded super-smark. This week's feature: The Bleak In Review! Click HERE to read! Updated:
BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (10/28/09): HULK HOGAN'S FIRST OFFICIAL TNA GIMMICK REVEALED~! Click HERE to view! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents THE WWE BRAGGING RIGHTS 2009 RANT! (10/27/09) You know, the PPV that WWE might just reconsider that whole "bragging" stance on once those 100,000 buys roll in. On this night, Big Show has the by gawd audacity to betray RAW! You know, despite being on the brand maybe 6 months and wrestling on both shows anyway. Batista has the best roid monster murders small child meltdown since umm, that other guy no one is allowed to talk about! (Quick someone check Mysterio and see if there's a bible by his side!) and John Cena trades up Superman for Iron Man, all while Vince & crew scramble to seal him up to preserve the integrity of Linda McMahon's losing effort in the Senate! Or something! Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: OCTOBER 2008~! BACK-LEG FRONTKICK RECAPITATION: HULK HOGAN'S CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING~! Ten Celebrities all vied for the honor and prestige of being named first ever CCW CHAMPION. A belt, that sooner or later will end up around Hulk's waist, just because! That's how these things usually work. Click HERE to read this blast ('cause I don't apparently write too much in October) from the past! Updated:
RETRO RANT!: CYBER SUNDAY
2007! With just one week until WWE's next money grab, join Sean
Carless as he looks back at the event Bragging Rights raped, killed and
dropped in a dumpster: CYBER SUNDAY~! (10/19/09) It's Cyber Sunday 2007!
The PPV that only sounds like a late night online encounter with an
alleged woman. But at least, during that, there's a chance you might
actually get what you want. Ahem. On this night, we, the FANS had our
voices heard! Unless that voice was saying "We want Jericho". They didn't
hear that. Oh well. But what we did get was HBK shaking off 3000
chinlocks to win his match against Randy Orton...by disqualification.
Because let's face it, clean finishes on paid shows are silly. Triple H
took it to the streets in his underwear! And an Animal survived its trip
to the Pet Cemetery! Sean has all your coverage and insane observations as
only a night of copious alcoholic self-abuse can provide! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!
Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK OCTOBER 2004! (10/15/09) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: 10.22.04: Featured: No More Patterson Jokes?, RAW And SmackDown Diarrhea, HHH Travels Through Time! Terri Runnels For Sale! Dissecting Vince! A Look At Some New Faces! And The Missing Taboo Tuesday Rant! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read Sean's blast from the past! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK OCTOBER 2003! (10/12/09) Halloween Edition! But Not Really! Featuring Insane Musings! Hukamania Running , err, Gingerly Walking Wildly! Stu Hart Taps Out To The Grim Reaper! Road Warrior Hawk Dines On Death..Literally! No Mercy Quick & Dirty, And My Super-Secret Inside Coverage of The Wedding Of The Century! Only Three Mid-Carders Were Held Back In The Making Of The These Nuptials! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE To Read Sean's blast from the past! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents THE WWE HELL IN A CELL 2009 RANT! (10/05/09) Or more like Heck in a Cell AMIRITE? On this bloodless night, WWE looks to the future! For new people for the same old guys to pin! Maybe. Plus, hey, two new Champions! How's 2007 workin' out for ya? And HHH comes to the rescue with bolt cutters! Instead of just asking Dad to raise the cage! Ya. Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
Marx Rayner and his sister Morgan return their monthly pre-pay-per-view feature: RAYN-PER-VIEW: HELL IN A CELL 2009 (10/04/09) Click HERE to read this battle of wills between mark and smark! Updated:
(09/30/09) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK PRESENTS: THE LOST LINDA
MCMAHON FOR U.S. SENATE AD~! The following, umm,
political ad is paid for by Linda McMahon and sponsor. Linda McMahon:
Today the Senate. Tomorrow the World. Click HERE to view!
Updated: Anthony Dean presents THE BREAKING POINT 2009 RANT! (09/14/09) Apparently Unforgiven *finally* accepted that long overdue apology so here's Breaking Point! A night those pesky Canadians are *finally* forced to get over the screwjob by being reminded of it all night! On this night, John Cena vows to never quit (being manufactured?)! DX taps for the first time ever...tonight..at Breaking point. And CM Punk screws Undertaker in Montreal. (Why not? He's already screwed every woman in the business. Who's left?) Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
Marx Rayner and his sister Morgan return their monthly pre-pay-per-view feature: RAYN-PER-VIEW: BREAKING POINT 2009 (09/13/09) Click HERE to read this battle of wills between mark and smark! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents THE SUMMER SLAM 2009 RANT! (08/24/09) It's the Wrestlemania of the Summer! Minus HHH nonsensically main-eventing, just because. On this night, HHH and HBK look to put Legacy in a wooden crate, return-mailed to FCW; WWE travels back to 2007 to present Orton vs. Cena-- then 1996 for the fucking booking; and CM Punk exorcises the demons of one Jeff Hardy, whilst simultaneously conjuring up a new one. (do they really chokeslam in Hell? Or clothesline?). Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
Marx Rayner and his sister Morgan return their monthly pre-pay-per-view feature: RAYN-PER-VIEW: SUMMER SLAM 2009 (08/22/09) Click HERE to read this battle of wills between mark and smark! Updated:
(07/30/09) Josh Richard returns with the
hilarious WWE CLOSED CAPTIONS!
Actual 100% legitimate closed captions of WWE programming as it airs
on the Score in Canada! In this recent edition: Monday's RAW!Click
HERE to read! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents THE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS 2009 RANT! (07/27/09) HHH, Orton, and John Cena all battle as per Vince McMahon's deal with Satan! It's Evolution vs. Evolution vs. Homo Erectus? With nothing ever evolving! Plus, Christian plucks out the bacon-grease covered heart of ECW, Chris Jericho picks Big Show as his tag team partner (but not before the big man rolled the corpse of Curt Hennig for new apparel) and Jeff Hardy celebrates with some new gold, and this time, its not just Acapulco! Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
Marx Rayner and his sister Morgan debut a new pre-pay-per-view feature: RAYN-PER-VIEW: NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS 2009! (07/26/09) Click HERE to read this battle of wills between mark and smark! Updated:
(07/24/09) Neil Cathan returns with his exclusive coverage of TNA VICTORY ROAD 2009! On this night,The Mafia reigns supreme and Jenna and Sharmell's performance drives us all to the Witness Relocation Program! Click HERE to read Neil's full coverage! Updated:
BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/20/09): TIME TO PLAY THE GOLLUM! I think it's safe to say that the only reason Triple H doesn't know what a "Hobbit" is, is because he was a little too preoccupied with this all-too-relatable kindred spirit--Click HERE to view! Updated:
BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/20/09): FEED HIM IF YOU CAN! Tazz finally makes his debut in the Impact Zone (coincidentally my nickname for my girlfriend's ass) --only built like a 1960's TV robot! Looks like that no-compete clause didn't include fast food restaurants! Click HERE to view! Updated:
BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: (07/09/09): MATT HARDY'S GUNT! Just when you thought that he had to "dry up the sea" only because he needed that much water to wash down all that food with, Matt Hardy himself *FINALLY* explains his strange weight-gain...with THE MOST DISTURBING PHOTO EVER. Or, so you thought! Ahem. Click HERE to view! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents the umm, THE BASH RANT! (06/29/09) A night where, this PPV loses its national heritage and no longer pretends to be anything but mediocre! On this night, Randy Orton ends a brutal blood feud with HHH the only way he knows how, by giving the game a brutal 2 foot wheelbarrow ride! And Super Cena flies around the earth so many times, time is turned back to the point where Miz was worthless again! All this, plus history is made! And not just that this PPV actually ended up being decent after a five year streak of garbage! and Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated: SEAN'S PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY (06/17/09): HHH BELIEVES THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. (AND NOT JUST BECAUSE HE'LL NEED FRESH PEOPLE TO PIN EVENTUALLY.) After RAW went off the air on Monday, HHH called a crying child into the ring. We all know where this is going.... Click HERE to view! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents the EXTREME RULES RANT! (06/08/09) A night where WWE goes extreme! And not just "extreme poor booking", although, that's there too! On this night! Batista limps his way through a pit of danger to win the WWE Title! Tommy Dreamer gets another cup of coffee with the ECW belt (along with a medley of corresponding desserts, cookies & pastries no doubt!), John Cena makes Big Show quit...while we throw in the towel 20 excruciating minutes earlier! And Jeff Hardy is your new World Champion. Wait. YOINK~! Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
TWF GUEST COLUMN! (05/22/09) Former TWF Staffer,
Martin Ferguson presents: TERMINATOR: CENATION!
Click HERE to read!
Updated:
Anthony Dean presents the JUDGMENT 2009 RANT! (05/18/09) A night where wrestling fans find religion! It's true. I just heard someone say "Dear God, this same shit again?". Close enough, right? On this night, CM Punk finds out pretty fast that it's probably best to just list your hometown as "parts unknown" when you go to WWE! Randy Orton meets Batista in a battle of Evolution capped off by the reemergence of a Dinosaur! John Cena (frying pan) hands Big Show a loss whilst we all feel loss for having ever watched it! And MATT HARDY HELPS EDGE RETAIN THE WORLD TITLE. Man. Time does heals all wounds. Except herpes. Ask them both about it sometime. Click HERE to read the full report~! Updated:
With the new live-action movie opening in just over a month, let's once again look back at a RETRO REVIEW of G.I. Joe The Movie! (05/10/09) They're America's highly-trained special missions force. Just ignore the part where they never make actual contact with their Enemies! Join Sean Carless as he breaks out the nostalgia time machine for a ridiculous look at 1987's cult classic feature film, where an Ancient race of talking Snake-men try and conquer the earth by way of evil gardening! It makes sense, I swear! Click HERE to read! Updated:
(05/02/09) In case you missed it at Wrestlecrap, check out Sean Carless's Induction of LATINO SEED: THE AMAZING TRUE STORY OF DOMINICK MYSTERIO GUERRERO! Wrestling's first & only rivalry where two men vied to be the first one to scale a ladder and thus legally win ownership of a small child! (Somewhere out there, Michael Jackson is no doubt learning how to take bumps!). Click HERE to read! Updated:
SEAN'S PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY (04/28/09): THE SECRET OF BATISTA'S CONSTANT TITLE CHANCES! Ever wonder how it is that Batista receives so many nonsensical World Title opportunities that even Triple H is heard saying "Who's this guy fucking?...and do they have room for one more?" THE ANSWER IS FINALLY REVEALED WITHIN. And Yes, it's exactly what you think it is. Click HERE to view! Updated:
Anthony Dean presents the BACKLASH 2009 RANT! (04/27/09) A night where God must have *finally* forgave WWE for jobbing him out in 2006 because this show actually delivered! And it didn't end in the universe (WWE or otherwise) imploding at the prospect of two overpushed douchebags finally losing! On this night, Randy Orton finally sends the Game home to his Box, Super Cena meets his end via the Bat Symbol, Chris Jericho slays a Dragon, we all want to slay ourselves during "comedy" that seemingly "drags-on" forever, and Jeff Hardy once again DOES NOT QUIT! See! Who said drugs and other addictions were the only things! Ahem. Click HERE to read the full report! Updated:
THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY!: BEST OF BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: APRIL 2005! 04/13/09: In This WARRIOR-SIZED Edition, We Looked At WWE Hirings; WWE Firings; Fat Girls Crying; Searching For Divas; Bischoff's Naked Wife; A New Satire; And WARRIOR Wants To End My Life. (Well Sorta). All This Plus Much More!! Click HERE To Read This Blast From The Past! Updated:
Anthony Dean
returns with the WRESTLEMANIA 25 RANT!
(04/06/09) It's the Grand-Daddy of them all! Now featuring Main Event
victories necessitated only by making the company's owner a grand-daddy!
Ahem. On this night, we say good-bye to 1999 for good with Steve Austin,
welcome it back again with fucking Kid Rock, tear the house down with
Undertaker & HBK, and then literally wish that was the case and
there was falling debris to end the pain with most anticlimactic main
event ever! Click HERE to
read the full report!
Updated:
(03/28/09) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK PRESENTS: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING STUPID!:
THE KOZLOV SHOW~! Clearly, we have far too much time on our
hands... Click HERE to
view! |